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Mix sliced cucumbers with sugar and salt and set aside.
Boil noodles for 2 minutes, drain, and rinse in cool water to stop cooking. (They will cook more when you stir them into the sauce.)
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. When the skillet is hot add onions, garlic, and ginger and cook for 6–8 minutes, until onions are softened and starting to brown, but not charred.
Increase heat to medium–high, add beef, and sear for 2 minutes. Stir together noodle sauce packets, dried scallion packets, Momofuku Soy Sauce, and Momofuku Hot Honey. Add the sauce to the skillet and cook, stirring frequently, for 2 minutes, bringing it to a simmer.
Stir in prepared noodles and cook for 1–2 minutes, stirring constantly, until they are thoroughly coated in the sauce. (Add ½ cup of water, if needed, to thin the sauce if the noodles are sticking to the skillet.)
Serve immediately with quick pickles, cilantro (if desired), and Momofuku Chili Crunch.