Beef Marinade: Mix together 5 tsp coarse salt, 1 Tbsp onion powder, 1 Tbsp garlic powder, 1 Tbsp black pepper, 1 Tbsp oregano, 2 tsp cumin, 28oz diced tomatoes, 4 Tbsp sweet relish, 3 Tbsp tomato paste, 2 Tbsp garlic puree, 2 Tbsp diced chipotles.
Put ground beef in slow cooker, line walls of slow cooking with diced bacon. Pour in half of the beef marinade and mix.
Cook on low 3-4 hours.
Blended Sauce: Mix cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, american cheese, milk, salt, and pepper in blender.
Bone Broth Caramelized Onions: Cook onions over medium-high heat until all water has evaporated and they begin to brown/stick to pan. Pour over about 16oz bone broth with 1-2 Tbsp soy sauce. Stir and boil until liquid is reduced.
Pour in remaining beef marinade, half cooked pasta, caramelized onions, and cheese sauce and cook for another 30-60 minutes.
