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Make the sauce by combining the rice vinegar, soy sauce, hoisin/oyster sauce, sesame oil, and cornstarch.
Boil the chow mein/stir fry noodles for 10-20 seconds, then drain and rinse with cold water.
Heat the vegetable oil in a wok or large pan over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and sear until cooked through.
Remove the chicken and add the green onions, ¾ of the garlic, celery, carrots, and cabbage. Stir-fry for 2 minutes.
Add the chicken back to the pan, then add the noodles and sauce. Stir-fry for 1 minute until the noodles are coated.
Add the water and remaining garlic, and continue to stir-fry for another minute.
Serve the chow mein with optional garnishes like green onions and chili oil.