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Place tofu cubes in a medium bowl. Toss with soy sauce and let sit for 5 to 10 minutes.
While the tofu is marinating, whisk together the soy sauce, dark soy sauce, black vinegar, rice vinegar, cornstarch, sesame oil, sugar, Sichuan peppercorns, and water in a small bowl to make the sauce. Set aside.
Sprinkle the cornstarch over the tofu a little at a time, folding gently between additions until evenly coated and slightly tacky. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large nonstick or well-seasoned skillet over medium-high heat. Add the tofu and cook undisturbed for 2 to 3 minutes per side until crisp and browned all over. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate.
Add a little more oil to the same skillet and place over medium-high heat. Add the dried chilies and cook for about 30 seconds until fragrant. Add the peanuts, celery, and white parts of the scallions. Stir-fry for 2 minutes until the celery is crisp-tender. Add the garlic and cook for another 30 seconds.
Return the tofu to the pan. Whisk the sauce again, then pour it in. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes, tossing gently, until the sauce thickens into a glossy glaze. Turn off the heat and stir in the green onions. Serve hot over rice or rice noodles.