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To a large cast-iron skillet set over medium-high heat, add the garlic and half of the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden, 5–6 minutes.
Add the beef, chili powder, cinnamon, oregano, allspice, celery seed, cloves, cumin, nutmeg, bay leaf, and salt and black pepper to taste and cook, stirring occasionally, until the beef is browned, 6–8 minutes.
Tilt the skillet and spoon out and discard any accumulated fat.
Turn the heat to medium-high and add the tomato sauce, cocoa powder, and 1 cup water.
When the liquid boils, turn the heat to medium-low and cook, partially covered, until thickened slightly, 25 minutes.
Meanwhile, bring a large Dutch oven filled with salted water to a boil over medium-high heat.
Add the spaghetti and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 8–10 minutes, then drain.
Meanwhile, place the beans in a microwave-safe bowl, cover, and microwave on high until hot, about 3 minutes.
To serve, divide the spaghetti among 4 large bowls.
Top with the chili, cheese, remaining onions, and beans.
Accompany with oyster crackers.