Combine cranberry sauce, Dijon mustard, and water in a small mixing bowl. Whisk to combine until smooth.
Transfer to a small squeeze bottle; refrigerate until ready to serve.
With caution, heat 2 inches of oil in a large frying pan or Dutch oven to 350ºF.
Combine milk, egg, sugar, and vanilla in a medium bowl.
In a separate bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, salt, chicken bouillon powder, dried parsley, onion powder, garlic powder, dried sage, and celery salt. Slowly stir into the milk mixture and mix until smooth. Transfer to a piping bag or squeeze bottle.
Carefully hold piping bag or squeeze bottle above oil and squeeze half of the batter into the pan, using a swirling motion to create desired shape.
Fry for 1-2 minutes, carefully flip with tongs and fry one additional minute. Remove from oil and drain on paper towels.
Repeat with remaining batter.
Cool for 5-10 minutes, then cut into 1-inch strips.
Place hot dog inside of bun. Top each hot dog with a few funnel cake strips, ¼ cup of cheese curds, and 2 tablespoons cranberry mustard. Sprinkle with chicken bouillon powder.
