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In a large bowl, soak the dried noodles in just-off-the-boil hot water for 20-30 minutes then quickly rinse under cold water. They will be partially cooked and ready to use for stir-fry. Do not boil dried rice noodles because they will become soggy and will break during stir frying!
In a small bowl, whisk together the soy sauce, dark soy sauce, fish sauce, oyster sauce, sugar, water, and white pepper until well combined. Set aside.
Heat 1 tbsp of neutral oil in a large wok or nonstick pan over medium-high heat. Add the shrimp (or your protein of choice) and stir-fry until just cooked through, about 1-2 minutes. Season with a pinch of salt, then remove and set aside.
Add the remaining 1 tbsp of oil to the pan. Stir-fry the garlic and Chinese broccoli or broccolini until just tender, about 1-2 minutes. Push everything to the side of the pan, crack in the eggs, and scramble until mostly set.
Add the noodles and pour in the sauce. Toss everything gently to coat the noodles evenly and stir-fry for about 1-2 minutes until the noodles are slightly charred. Add the protein back in, a pinch of salt, and toss until everything is well combined. Transfer to a plate and garnish with optional chili crisp.