Start by placing your dates in a 4 cup (1 litre) measuring cup. Cover with a bit of milk or water. Then microwave on high for 1 minute.
Remove and mash with a fork. Make sure there aren't any pits that evaded removal. If it's not completely mashable, return to the microwave for another 30 seconds.
Transfer the goo to a blender.
Measure out 3 cups of milk into the measuring cup you just used. Again, microwave until hot... maybe 3 minutes or so, depending on your microwave.
Pour into the blender. Add the cocoa, xanthan gum (if using), and vanilla extract.
Blend for 1 minute.
Pour into mugs and allow to sit for 2 minutes.
