Cut the crusts off your bread (save them for breadcrumbs!)
Mix cream cheese and mayo until smooth and spreadable
Layer up your cake: bread → spread → fillings — like ham & cheese, cacciatore & cheese, eggs & olives. Repeat!
Stop when it's birthday-cake tall
Trim the sides with a sharp knife to make it neat. (Offcuts = chef's snack 😏)
Pipe cream cheese on top like frosting
Decorate with your favourite toppings: ham rolls, herbs, egg slices — go wild
Chill for one hour before slicing. Or don't. It's your party
