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Put the kale in a bowl, add a large pinch of salt and massage in with your fingertips for a few minutes, then set aside (this will help it soften). Heat the grill to medium-high. Put the chicken between 2 sheets of baking paper and bash out with a rolling pin to an even thickness. Coat with oil, season with salt and pepper, then put on a baking tray. Grill for 9-12 minutes, turning and sprinkling with half the sesame seeds halfway through.
Meanwhile, cook the noodles according to the packet instructions. Put the kimchi, cream cheese, honey, sesame oil, 1 tbsp of the soy sauce and the garlic in a food processor and whizz until smooth. Drain the noodles, reserving a mugful of the cooking water, then return to the pan and stir in the kimchi sauce, adding a little of the reserved water if needed to help it coat the noodles.
When the chicken is done, transfer it to a board to rest. Put the kale on the baking tray and sprinkle with the remaining sesame seeds. Grill for about 3 minutes until tender and crisp in places. Serve the noodles and kale topped with the chicken, with the remaining 1 tbsp soy sauce drizzled over.