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Peel the cucumber, then slice it in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. Chop it into small pieces, then put them into a small saucepan with the water and half of the sugar. Cook it over medium heat for 15 to 20 minutes, or until it’s very tender.
Mash the cucumber until it’s as smooth as you can get it, then add the ginger brandy and green food coloring. How much of the food coloring is up to you and how green you want the ice cream to be. Keep in mind that you’re going to be adding a bunch of cream to it, so it will turn out lighter than it looks at this point. Stir in the lemon juice, then pour the mixture through a sieve.
Mix the cream and the remaining half of the sugar together. Stir this into the cucumber mixture. Freeze in an ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
Serve it forth right away, or you can do as A.B. Marshall suggests and let it harden in the freezer, in an ice cream mold if you have one.