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Prepare the salad: Cut the cucumbers in half lengthwise. Lay them cut side down on a cutting board and, using the flat side of a chef’s knife or a rolling pin, smack the cucumbers until they break apart. Tear or cut them into bite-size pieces, if necessary.
Place the cucumbers in a colander set in the sink, and sprinkle with ½ teaspoon salt. Allow to sit for 10 minutes to draw out excess moisture.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Add the noodles, stirring to prevent sticking, and cook according to package instructions.
In a large bowl, add the tahini, soy sauce, rice vinegar and garlic. Add 2 tablespoons of water, and whisk until smooth. It should be thick but quite loose, so it can coat the noodles without being gluggy; add more water if you need to thin it out a little.
Give the cucumbers a quick squeeze to remove excess moisture, and add them to the tahini dressing along with the noodles, tofu and cilantro. Using tongs or your hands, toss to combine. Taste, and season with salt and pepper, drizzle in the sesame or chili oil and toss again. Serve at room temperature.