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Arrange half of the wafers in a single layer in a 9-inch square baking dish. Top with half of the bananas. Repeat with the remaining wafers and bananas.
Whisk the sugar with the flour in a medium bowl. Gently heat the milk in a large saucepan until hot but not bubbling. Whisk in the sugar mixture in three batches, then whisk in the egg yolks. Cook over moderate heat, stirring frequently, until the custard is thickened and almost pudding-like, 5 to 8 minutes. Whisk in the butter and vanilla. Pour the hot custard over the wafers and let stand at room temperature for 20 minutes. Refrigerate until chilled, then cover and refrigerate overnight.
Combine the egg whites, vanilla, and cream of tartar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk. Beat at high speed until soft peaks form, 1 to 2 minutes. With the machine on, add the sugar 1 tablespoon at a time; beat until smooth, glossy, just-firm peaks form, about 2 minutes. (Do not overbeat or the meringue will become grainy.) Spread the meringue evenly over the banana pudding, swirling it decoratively. If you have a kitchen torch, you can brûlée the meringue if desired.