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Put the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Pat the okra dry with a paper towel, and toss the okra with the chickpea flour, if you’re using it. When the oil is hot, add the okra and cook, stirring occasionally, until very tender and deeply browned, 20 to 30 minutes. Transfer to a plate with a slotted spoon, and season with salt.
Add the onion to the skillet and season it with salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until it’s soft and golden brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Stir in the ginger-garlic paste, then add the coriander, cumin, turmeric, amchoor powder, and cayenne pepper and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add the tomatoes and jalapeños and cook, stirring occasionally, until the tomatoes begin to break down, 15 to 20 minutes.
Stir in the garam masala and cook for 1 minute, then turn off the heat and stir in the okra and lemon juice. Taste and adjust the seasoning. Serve hot, over basmati rice and garnished with cilantro, if desired. (Leftover bhindi masala can be stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to several days.)