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Heat the butter on medium high heat in a 2 ½ - 3 quart saucepan. When the butter melts add the onions and garlic and allow to saute for 2 minutes. Add the jalapeno peppers and allow to cook for 30 seconds. Add the water and the salt and bring to a boil. Add the grits and allow them to come back to a boil before lowering the heat to the lowest setting. Allow to cook covered for 15-20 minutes stirring frequently so the grits do not stick to the bottom of the saucepan. Most of the water should be absorbed without the grits being completely dried out.
Add the milk and continue to cook stirring for 10 minutes. Once once most of the liquid has been absorbed, add the cheddar cheese and stir to combined. Keep in mind the grits will thicken as they cool. So do NOT over cook. Serve warm with poached or fried eggs.