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Halve the jalapenos and remove the seeds. Keep the handy stalks attached.
Combine the cream cheese, cheddar, garlic and chives in a bowl, then divide the mixture in half. Spike one half with cayenne pepper.
Use a teaspoon to smoosh the stuffing mix into the open faces of the jals.
Dip and toss each chilli into the flour, dunk them into the egg wash, then roll them straight into the panko crumbs. Set aside in the fridge until ready to cook.
For the sauce, heat the tomato sauce, hot sauce, tabasco and brown sugar in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring, until the sugar is dissolved. Whisk in the cold butter until the sauce is smooth and silky. This can be stored in the fridge.
For the dip, use a stick blender to blitz the blue cheese, mayo and yoghurt until mostly smooth (some chunks of blue are good) and store in the fridge until ready to use.
Heat the oil to medium-high heat (180–190°C), then lower the jals in to fry until golden brown, around 3 minutes all up, including turning. Carefully scoop them out with a slotted spoon or wire scoop so that the crumb coating isn’t broken. Place on a rack to drain.