Mince the vegetables: Place the onion, carrot, and celery into a food processor and blend until minced. Scrape down the sides as needed. Alternatively, you can mince these vegetables by hand.

Make the filling: In a mixing bowl, add the cream cheese, imitation crab meat, shredded cheese, and the minced vegetables. Mix with gloved hands or a rubber spatula until well combined.

Assemble: Prepare your assembly station by having a small bowl of water for brushing, some damp paper towels or plastic wrap for covering, a spoon, tablespoon, or a tablespoon-size cookie scoop for scooping, the wonton wrappers, and the filling. Place two sheets of wrappers in front of you and brush an inch (2.5cm) of the edges of both sheets with water using your fingers or a pastry brush. Spoon about a tablespoon of the cream cheese filling onto the center of one of the wonton wrappers and place the second wrapper over the filling. Gently flatten the filling slightly with your hand and line up the wrappers. Pinch all the way around the wrapper to seal, making sure to push out any air bubbles. Cover the finished rangoons to prevent the wrappers from drying out and repeat with remaining wrappers and filling.

Prepare the sauces: For the spicy crema, mix together the Mexican crema, sriracha, and the lime juice until well combined. You can make this up to 4 days in advance and keep it refrigerated. You can transfer the spicy crema and the sweet chili sauce into piping bags for easier drizzling.

Fry the rangoons: Heat about 2 inches (5cm) of oil to 350°F (175°C). While waiting, prepare a sheet pan or plate with a cooling rack or line it with some paper towels and a pair of tongs. When the oil is ready, gently place the crab rangoons into the oil and fry on both sides until golden brown, about 3-4 minutes total. Make sure to not overcrowd the pot and fry in batches as necessary. When the crab rangoons are done frying, remove and let them drain on the prepared sheet pan or plate. If possible, stand them up so they drain better.

Finish and serve: Transfer the crab rangoons onto a serving plate and drizzle with the spicy crema and sweet chili sauce. Then top with jalapeño slices and green onion to complete the nachos. Enjoy while warm!