Grab a buck knife and toss an orange slice in the glass
Add a sugar cube
Add a couple dashes of bitters
Don't muddle the rind, otherwise you'll get a muddler on the neck
Fill the glass about two fingers tall with the 90 proof brandy
Top with a float of Sprite for sweet, Squirt for sour, or press if you're waiting for marriage
Garnish with a maraschino cherry
