Place cranberries in a small bowl and cover with boiling water. Let stand for 3 minutes to soften slightly and drain.
Add cranberries, jalapeno, pickled jalapeno, brine, red onion, and sugar into a food processor and pulse until very finely chopped.
Combine cranberry mixture with softened cream cheese and asiago cheese and stir until well blended. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
