Bring water to a boil and add Jello packet - while in pot. Mix well.
In a separate bowl, blend cream cheese.
Add dissolved Jello mixture to cream cheese in 3 batches, blending with a hand mixer between each addition. This is to help prevent lumps.
Add 7 UP and mix by hand.
Chill until mixture resembles egg whites or slime, about 30 - 60 minutes - this will vary depending on the temperature of the fridge, so check every 15 minutes or so.
When the mixture is thick but soupy, add cool whip and mix well by hand.
Add crushed pineapple and mix well.
Pour mixture into a 9x13 serving dish or Jello mold.
Chill till fully set.
