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Preheat the oven to 200°C (400°F), Gas Mark 6.
Make the sauce. Heat the olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Add the shallots and garlic and sweat for 5 minutes, until softened. Add the tomatoes, basil (or oregano), sugar and balsamic glaze. Season with salt and pepper. Simmer for 5 minutes. Set aside.
Make the fries. Heat the sunflower oil in a deep fryer or deep saucepan to 180°C (350°F), or until a cube of bread browns in 30 seconds. Carefully lower the fries into the hot oil and deep-fry for 8–10 minutes, or until deeply golden. Tip the cooked fries onto a plate lined with kitchen paper to drain.
Heat the olive oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the chunks of vegan patties and the lardons and sauté for 5 minutes, until cooked.
Put the fries into an ovenproof dish. Top with the vegan patties and lardons, then tip in the tomato sauce. Sprinkle with half of the spring onions. Top with the chilli and vegan cheese. Bake for 15 minutes, until all the cheese is melted.
Garnish with the remaining spring onions. Now, let it give you that long-awaited hug while you melt into the couch and recover from last night’s mayhem.