Make the meat mixture: In a large bowl, mix the ground beef or pork, fish sauce, soy sauce, toasted sesame oil, ground Szechuan peppercorns, cornstarch, grated ginger, grated garlic, and ground white pepper until evenly combined, then set aside. Combine the canola oil and jalapeño in a cold nonstick skillet or saucepan. Turn up the heat to medium and cook until the jalapeño is shriveled and almost crispy (you can partially cover the skillet to prevent splattering), about 2 minutes. Drain through a fine sieve, reserving the crispy jalapeño on a plate, then return the oil to the skillet.

Add the ground meat mixture to the skillet, breaking it up into small chunks with a wooden spoon, until the meat is deeply browned and caramelized, about 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in the reserved crispy jalapeño and remove from the heat. Set aside.

Make the chile oil: In a spice grinder, combine the Szechuan chile flakes, star anise, ground coriander, ground cumin, curry powder, and sesame seeds and grind into a fine powder. Set aside.

Combine the canola oil, scallions, and smashed garlic in a small cold saucepan. Cook over medium-low heat, until the alliums are deeply browned, about 3 to 5 minutes. Remove the solids with a slotted spoon, drain well, and discard.

Transfer the ground spice mixture to the oil. Continue to cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until the color of the oil turns from a bright red to a dark maroon, about 1 to 2 minutes. Turn off the heat and stir in the ground Szechuan peppercorns. Set aside.

Make the “instant” dan dan mix: In a clean large bowl, combine the cooked ground beef mixture, the entire batch of chile oil, the sesame paste, soy sauce, peanut butter, light brown sugar, chicken powder, balsamic vinegar, and grated garlic. Mix until thoroughly combined. Transfer to an airtight container and store in the refrigerator for up to 1 week, or divide the mixture into smaller portions in small resealable bags or airtight containers (see headnote for example) and store in the freezer for 4 to 6 months.

To serve: In a small saucepan over medium low, or in a microwave-safe bowl, mix equal parts of the dan dan noodle mix and chicken stock by volume until warmed through. (The ratio between sauce and noodle should be something in between noodle soup and noodles with sauce: If you want 1 cup of sauce for your noodles, mix ½ cup noodle mix with ½ cup chicken stock.) Pour the warmed sauce over the cooked noodles. Top each serving with a tablespoon of my ultimate chile oil (see headnote). Garnish with finely minced pickled jalapeño and diced scallions.