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Place the mustard seeds and allspice berries into the spice grinder and grind until powdered.
Put the spice mixture into a blender with the ground turmeric and sugar.
Add Guinness as necessary to keep the mixture smoothly flowing in the blender.
Check the consistency; it should be about the same thickness as store-bought brown mustard.
Let sit and check the heat level every few minutes for up to 15 minutes.
When hot enough, restart the blender and add the vinegar.
Transfer to a clean glass jar and refrigerate overnight.